January 2012
14 posts
“It’s a wonder I haven’t abandoned all my ideals, they seem so absurd and...”
– Anne Frank (via jaclynlambert)
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It was the first day of class
and the professor was taking role. She was old and weathered, another refugee of Project MKULTRA; whimsically regurgitating knowledge like a Bluejay fattening its young.
She started taking role. She read off three names, all responses were an exasperated call declaring that they were in fact here.
She hesitated for a few seconds; she stared down the paper in front of thick frames, her...
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“Glue sniffing children and junkies are a minor problem, called...”
– -Cape Town Travel Guide
http://wikitravel.org/en/Cape_Town
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Today I referred to my myspace profile as "my high...
Our teenage years are all about awkwardness, are they not?
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Today
is one of those days when your Nikes start squeaking.
Only my guy friends really get that reference.
The shoes that you’ve had for years- those black Nike Dunks, those coke-white Air Force Ones. They were your favorite pair of shoes; worn through the best and worst of times and never ever became scuffed, or dirtied. They made you look good. They made you feel…fucking....
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What do marijuana and the Oregon Duck's have in...
They both get smoked in bowls
December 2011
17 posts
My father used to tell me that 'hate' is such a...
But, in all honesty, that’s the only reason I use it…
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“The poverty line is just the line that divides Target and Wal-Mart.”
– Seth Meyers
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My door has a lock; and my lock has a key
My key’s been hanging out with my nose
My nose has been getting down with my key
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“Well actually I’m not black, white, or anything like that. I’m...”
– -Samuel L. Jackson
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Text a Girl and Ask Her if You Can "Tap That"
why not?
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November 2011
13 posts
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In falling love
My girlfriend and I have been going through some problems lately. She yells, she screams nasty insults, she throws things.
Despite this, I remain a hopeless romantic; or rather a pathetically blinded optimist.
So last night, we sit down with one beer each and propose a toast.
We raise our glasses.
I say, “to love.”
As I say this, however, she...
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B-O-O-T-A-Y; YOU AINT GOT NO ALIBI
You Uglay
Yeah, yeah
Bitch fuck me
Yeah, yeah
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“Excuse me Miss, but, um…DONDE ESTA LOS PANTS-OFF-DANCE-OFF??”
– -Okay, it was me.
And that’s why it’s called the Bar-muda Triangle.
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Good evening, folks! And welcome back to your...
Tonight’s contestant is a 21 year old student who traveled all the way here from West University. His name is Jones, and if he just survives our upcoming lightning round, he will leave here today with the Grand Prize!
We all know the rules to the game, but the lightning round is just a little bit different. Instead of hypothetical people as usual, we’ll be asking you about...
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October 2011
9 posts
If you have time to masturbate
You have time to cut your disgusting gargantuan fucking toe-nails.
Come on, fellas.
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There's nowhere to run; there's only one atlas
one world
One girl
And she’s probably an actress.
“How I Met Your Mother is a show about how awesome Neil Patrick Harris is, but...”
–
4 Pieces of Relationship Advice Movies Need to Stop Giving | Cracked.com
(via petitessedespassions)
